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This electric feedback, it never stops.
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| we're all wasting ourselves. |
[04 Aug 2006|12:49am] |
Just before our love got lost you said,
"I am as constant as a northern star."
And I said, "Constantly in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar."
On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada
Oh Canada
With your face sketched on it twice
Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you, darling
And I would still be on my feet
Oh I would still be on my feet
I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time you told me, you said,
"Love is touching souls"
Surely you touched mine
'Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you, darling
And still, I'd be on my feet
I would still be on my feet
I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said,
"Go to him, stay with him if you can
But be prepared to bleed"
Oh but you are in my blood
You're my holy wine
You're so bitter, bitter and so sweet
Oh, I could drink a case of you, darling
And still I'd be on my feet
Oh I would still be on my feet
Joni Mitchell - "A Case Of You"
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...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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| mystic crystal revelations |
[26 Jul 2006|07:35am] |
 | You scored as I - Magician. The Magician, represents those aspects of the personality traditionally considered "masculine". He is in control. He knows how things work. He takes action and makes things happen. One that operates through the power of Will rather than brute force. The Magician represents the application of knowledge. The Magician creates his desired reality. When this card appears in a Tarot spread it indicates the attainment of goals through the application of knowledge and Will. If badly aspected in a spread, this card can represent abuse of power. It can indicate manipulation of others, trickery and deception.
I - Magician | | 75% | II - The High Priestess | | 69% | 0 - The Fool | | 69% | VIII - Strength | | 63% | XIII: Death | | 63% | III - The Empress | | 63% | XI: Justice | | 56% | IV - The Emperor | | 50% | VI: The Lovers | | 50% | XV: The Devil | | 50% | XIX: The Sun | | 31% | X - Wheel of Fortune | | 31% | XVI: The Tower | | 13% | </td>
Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com |
i totally could've guessed my top two, but i would've switched 'em.
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1 AtE rInG pOpS ...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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| rock me to sleep, ginsberg. keep me safe and warm. |
[02 Jul 2006|11:20am] |
"I saw you, Walt Whitman, childless, lonely old grubber, poking among the meats in the refrigerator and eyeing the grocery boys.
I heard you asking questions of each: Who killed the pork chops? What price bananas? Are you my Angel?"
-"A Supermarket in California"
Berkeley, 1955
allen and walt are dead. everyone in the valley is asleep. i am neither.
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3 AtE rInG pOpS ...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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| in the dark we will take off our clothes. |
[29 Jun 2006|07:32am] |
Two headed boy
All floating in glass
The sun it has passed
Now it's blacker than black
I can hear as you tap on your jar
I am listening to hear where you are
I am listening to hear where you are
Two headed boy
Put on sunday shoes
And dance round the room to accordion keys
With the needle that sings in your heart
Catching signals that sound in the dark
Catching signals that sound in the dark
We will take off our clothes
And they'll be placing fingers through the notches in your spine
And when all is breaking everything that you could keep inside
Now your eyes ain't moving now
They just lay there in their climb
Two headed boy
With pulleys and weights
Creating a radio played just for two
In the parlor with a moon across her face
And through the music he sweetly displays
Silver speakers that sparkle all day
Made for his lover who's floating and choking with her hands across her face
And in the dark we will take off our clothes
And they'll be placing fingers through the notches in your spine
And when all is breaking everything that you could keep inside
Now your eyes ain't moving now
They just lay there in their climb
Two headed boy
There is no reason to grieve
The world that you need is wrapped in gold silver sleeves
Left beneath Christmas trees in the snow
And I will take you and leave you alone
Watching spirals of white softly flow
Over your eyelids and all you did
Will wait until the point when you let go
"Two-Headed Boy" by Neutral Milk Hotel
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...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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| dear vast and enthusiastic audience, |
[17 Jun 2006|09:56am] |
|
96% of the aspects of my life are going pretty shitty right now. creatively, however, i'm on fire. so, put simply, it is confirmed once again that in order for me to be a remotely productive person i must be more or less unhappy. that seems pretty twisted and sacrificial to me. let the party begin.
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...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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| memories of my melancholy whores |
[15 Jun 2006|02:44am] |
"From then on i had her in my memory with so much clarity that i could do what i wanted with her. I changed the color of her eyes according to my state of mind: the color of water when she woke, the color of syrup when she laughed, the color of light when she was annoyed. I dressed her according to the age and condition that suited my changes of mood: a novice in love at twenty, a parlor whore at forty, the queen of Babylon at seventy, a saint at one hundred. We sang Puccini love duets, Augustin Lara boleros, Carlos Gardel tangos, and we confirmed once again that those who do not sing cannot even imagine the joy of singing. Today i know it was not a hallucination but one more miracle of the first love of my life at the age of ninety."
-Gabriel Garcia Marquez
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3 AtE rInG pOpS ...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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| ah shit, said Indian Mike |
[03 Jun 2006|04:37am] |
i am livejournaling this [despite/because of?] the fact that no one will read this except leandra, and maybe lisa or my sister. i'm basically just pretty flipped out, and want to vent less than semipublicly, but more than entirely privately.
so, in my history class, we're watching Schindler's List. now obviously, this is a sad and creepy movie, and we were at a particularly sad and creepy part. so when the bell to end fifth period rings today, i am already sad and creeped out. then i walk outside, and i am surrounded by a chaotic youthful stupor.
the halls of my school are honestly ridiculous. there is inane laughter. there are at least three couples devouring each other's faces. they are disenfranchised and careless, but they are happy. i cannot relate to this joyful apathy at all. i am not being pretentious, or uptight, or anything of the sort. my generation scares me. it worries me, upsets me, that i am part of it. these are my peers. am i seen like that by others? am i actually like that?
there has always been an incongruency in my life between what i am and what i want to be/know i could be/how i see myself. and i really do not have the ability to objectively evaluate how close how i am is to how i see myself and how i want to be. i know/hope that i am an intellectual, and maybe even a little bit hip, but i could be so completely off-base in this and i would never know. i want you to respect me, but i do not know whether or not i am worthy of your respect. in addition, if you are between the ages of 13 and 21, odds are i don't have much respect for you. obviously there are some exceptions, but i just said odds are.
i go through cycles of thinking that i am different than these joyously apathetic, and then thinking that i am just as bad. i know every aspect of myself. i know my intellect and my interests. i only know what i see about those kids i saw in the B building today: the slobbery, cursing, laughin' and a'runnin' part of them. maybe i only think less of them because they are not showing me the parts i would be inclined to respect. and what if my intellect is just a delusion on my part? it is entirely possible that i created this whole idea of myself for my own benefit, and every bit of it is fallacious. i will never know.
so what can i do? i can sleep, much much more than i need to.
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2 AtE rInG pOpS ...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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[31 May 2006|04:38am] |
They warn you about killers and thieves in night
I worry about cancer and living right
But my mama never warned me about my own
Destructive appetite
Or the pitfalls of control
How it locks you in your grave
Looking for someone to be saved under my restraint
So I could be happy, happy
Oh so happy, happy
Oh so happy, happy
So happy, so happy
-"Happy" by Jenny Lewis
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...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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| If God takes life, he's an Indian giver. |
[13 May 2006|04:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 listless |
] |
Modest Mouse - Bukowski
Woke up this morning and it seemed to me,
That every night turns out to be
A little more like Bukowski.
And yeah, I know he's a pretty good read.
But God who'd wanna be?
God who'd wanna be such an asshole?
God who'd wanna be?
God who'd wanna be such an asshole?
Well we sat on the edge of the river,
the crowd screamed, "Sacrifice the liver!"
If God takes life, he's an Indian giver.
So tell me now why, you'll tell me never.
Who would wanna be?
Who would wanna be such a control freak?
Well who would wanna be?
Who would wanna be such a control freak?
Well see what you wanna see. You should see it all.
Well take what you want from me. You deserve it all.
Nine times out of ten our hearts just get dissolved.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall.
But one time out of ten, everything is perfect for us all.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall.
Here we go!
If God controls the land and disease,
keeps a watchful eye on me,
If he's really so damn mighty,
my problem is I can't see,
well who would wanna be?
Who would wanna be such a control freak?
Well who would wanna be?
Who would wanna be such a control freak?
Evil home stereo, what good songs do you know?
Evil me, oh yeah I know, what good curves can you throw?
Well all that icing and all that cake,
I can't make it to your wedding, but I'm sure I'll be at your
wake.
You were talk, talk, talk, talkin' in circles that day,
when you get to the point make sure that I'm still awake, OK?
Went to bed and didn't see
why every day turns out to be
a little bit more like Bukowski.
And yeah, I know he's a pretty good read.
But God who'd wanna be?
God who'd wanna be such an asshole?
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...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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[26 Apr 2006|05:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 apathetic |
] |
"Charles Bukowski, born 8/16/20, Andernach, Germany. Brought to America at the age of two. Eighteen or twenty books of prose and poetry, Bukowski, after publishing prose in 'Story' and 'Portfolio,' stopped writing for ten years. He arrived in the charity ward of the Los Angeles County General Hospital, hemorrhaging as a climax to a ten-year drinking bout. Some say he didn't die. After leaving the hospital he got a typewriter and began writing again - this time poetry. He later returned to prose and gained some fame with his column, 'Notes of a Dirty Old Man.' After 14 years in the Post Office he resigned at age 50, he says, to keep from going insane. He now claims to be unemployable and eats typewriter ribbons."
-the back of the City Lights edition of "The Most Beautiful Woman in Town and Other Stories" by Charles Bukowski
the world is unfair, because i never got to meet this man.
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3 AtE rInG pOpS ...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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[18 Mar 2006|09:35pm] |
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there is no better self-esteem boost than to wait until one's parents leave and then walk around naked for a while. true story.
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1 AtE rInG pOpS ...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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[09 Mar 2006|05:09am] |
001. How many keys are on your keychain?
one lone housekey.
002. What makeup do you wear on a daily basis?
eye liner.
003. Is your AIM away message on?
no.
004. If you could eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
follow your heart love plate with creamy veggie soup, wheat meat club with avocado, and green tea
005. What curse word do you use the most?
since i read catcher in the rye, "goddam" spelled just like that.
006. Do you own an iPod?
blue mini. The Pod Almighty.
007. Who on your Myspace "Top 8" do you talk to the most?
that Little Street Urchin, but not on myspace, just in general.
008. What time is your alarm clock set for?
6:26
009. How many suitcases do you own?
one, and a Holly Hobbie overnight tote.
010. Do you wear flip-flops even when its cold outside?
sometimes.
011. Where do you buy your groceries from?
trader joes, usually.
012. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
both.
013. What was the last movie you watched?
elizabethtown, i think.
014. Do any of your friends have children?
bonnie solomon.
015. If you won the lottery, whats the first thing you would buy?
fun clothes, maybe.
016. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
yes.
017. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
tylenol pm and i are homies, for sure.
018. What CD is currently in your CD player?
cd player is empty (i have the pod), but dark side of the moon is in my record player.
019. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
chocolate, but i'm not a fan of either.
020. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
not that i can recall.
021. When was the last time someone hit on you?
like a goddam second ago. i have to beat them off with a stick; its ridiculous.
022. Do you wear hoodies often?
no.
023. What color hair do you have?
red.
024. Can you whistle?
no.
025. What is the first thing you see when you look to your left?
annoying vertical blinds.
026. Do you make your own jewelry?
totally. and i'm awesome at it.
027. Have you ever participated in a protest?
not really. maybe later.
028. Who was the last person to call you?
franklin.
029. What is your favorite ride at an amusement park?
you.
030. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
yeah. i'm kind of paranoid and self-centered.
031. Have you ever dated one of your best friends?
sort of
032. What area code are you in right now?
818
033. Did you watch cartoons as a child?
yeah. "recess" pretty much defined my childhood.
034. How big is your local mall?
hell if i know
035. What is your job title?
minstrel/nude fine arts model
036. How many siblings do you have?
ilana
037. Have you ever been so drunk that you threw up?
no.
038. Are you shy around the opposite sex?
no.
039. What is your biggest regret?
ask me in private and maybe i'll talk to you about it.
040. Have you ever had Jamba Juice?
yes.
041. When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt?
not sure.
042. Favorite movie?
harold and maude, almost famous, the graduate, i heart huckabees, the muppet movie (and many more)
043. Do you own any band t-shirts?
yeah.
044. What is your favorite candle scent?
the winter ones that smell like baked goods.
045. How many aunts and uncles do you have?
ten.
047. Have you ever eaten snow?
yes. it was delicious.
048. How many chairs are at your dining room table?
four.
049. What is your favorite salad dressing?
raspberry vinegarette, i think.
050. Do you read for fun?
definitely.
051. Can you speak any languages other than English?
hebrew sort of.
052. Where is your cell phone?
pocket of my flannel pyjama pants.
053. Do you do your own dishes?
yes, generally.
054. What color is your bedroom painted?
white, but its mostly covered up.
055. Are your parents divorced?
nope.
056. Have you ever cried in public?
yes, but not recently.
057. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
desktop.
058. Which do you make: wishes or plans?
wishes. definitely.
059. Are you always trying to learn new things?
in a way...
060. what messenger programs do you have?
aim
061. Do you shower on a daily basis?
yes, sometimes more. asya makes fun of me.
062. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
nose ring, belly button ring
063. Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date?
i honestly couldnt care less, unless i'm broke.
064. Can you skip rocks?
i could at one point.
065. Have you ever been to Jamaica?
no, but its totally on my list.
066. What do you like to snack on at the movie theatres?
no, thanks. i dont eat in the dark.
067. Who was your favorite teacher?
Victoria Massoudi. she's such a goddess sexpot. i'm gonna have lunch with her some time.
068. Have you ever dated someone out of your race?
no, but not intentionally.
069. What is the weather like?
windy.
070. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
depends.
071. Do you have an online journal?
you can answer that.
072. Did you ever play Capture the Flag in school?
yes. it consisted of me intentionally getting tagged, then sitting in the grass with asya making flower crowns.
074. Do you enjoy traveling via airplanes?
no (dont like sitting still for that long, and the restroom situation isnt exactly prime), but i love airports. the best people-watching in the world.
075. What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex?
intellect.
076. Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive?
not to me, obviously.
077. When was the last time you slept on the floor?
probably camp.
078. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
champagne.
079. Does your closest Starbucks have a drive-thru?
i've never even see a starbucks with a drive through.
080. Do you like your living arrangement?
not particularly.
081. Has anyone ever called you spoiled?
yes.
082. What is your mothers hometown?
Queens, New York
083. Did you ever go to the same school as your parents?
yes, i go to the highschool my mother went to.
084. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
i havent really experimented with this, but i pull six regularly.
085. Do you eat breakfast daily?
i try to.
086. What was the last thing to scare you?
ummmm. ghosts. i don't know.
087. Do you own a Playstation?
no, but i have access to one.
088. How many times have you brushed your teeth today?
two, so far. yesterday i did five. i dont usually do five. three is the norm.
089. What is your usual bedtime?
i aim for 11:30
090. Do you know who Janice Dickinson is?
yes. i adore her antics.
091. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
hell if i know.
092. Are your days full and fast-paced?
not usually.
093. Did you ever get in trouble for talking in class?
all the time.
094. Is there carpet, wood or tile in the room you're currently in?
tile and an area rug.
095. Were you a "planned" child?
maybe.
096. What is your favorite fruit?
avocado.
097. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
yeah.
098. What color underwear are you wearing?
i'm not wearing any. and i didnt even have to make that up.
099. Do you know how to work a cash register?
no.
100. How much is gas where you live?
a lot.
101. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
as long as it isnt "IM speak" i can take it.
102.What time is your curfew?
depends on the circumstances.
104. If you had ONE wish, what would you wish for?
if i told you, it wouldnt come true.
105. Do you believe in life on other planets?
not particularly.
106. What does your mouse pad look like?
blue.
107. Have you ever been to geauga lake?
i've never even heard of it.
108. Who was the last person to make you mad?
not sure.
109. Do you believe that God has a gender?
shut up.
110. What was the last thing you ate?
green tea mochi.
111. Can others make you cry easily?
not really. i can make me cry easily.
112. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
hmm. used to definitely be the opposite sex, but nw things seem to have evened out.
113. What did you dress up as for your first Halloween?
hell if i know.
115. Do you like mustard?
ew no.
116. If you could enter a celebrity's mind, whose would you choose to enter?
franz kafka, probably. or diane arbus, or joni mitchell.
117. What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
fuck
118. Would you ever sky dive?
yes.
119. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?
side, usually.
120. What character from a movie most reminds you of yourself?
book characters would be easier.
121. Can you pop your knuckles?
crack them? yeah.
122. Do you know what an IP address is?
no. am i an idiot?
123. Have you ever bid for something on ebay?
no.
124. What do you think of Angelina Jolie being pregnant?
i don't care. shut up.
125. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
yes.
127. Would you consider yourself to be fashionable?
totally.
128. What song lyric, if any, is stuck in your head at the moment?
none.
130. Do you own a digital camera?
yes.
129. If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?
thats assuming i have feelings. no, i do. i would be flattered or grossed out depending on who it was. pretty standard.
130. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
green tea.
131. What's your favorite color?
red-orange
132. What celebrities have you been compared to?
laura prepon, drew barrymore, kate winslet, kate hudson's character in almost famous (not in looks), jenny lewis, and most recently helena bonham carter (but in chicness/attitude, not looks, i think)
133. Who is your favorite Star Wars character?
natalie portman
134. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?
immeasurably.
135. What books, if any, have made you cry?
lots.
136. Do you think you're attractive?
yeah, i'm not bad.
137. What are you allergic to?
skin exposure to nickel.
138. Are you a jealous person?
sometimes
139. What is your favorite Christmas//winter movie?
winter solstice the movie.
140. Have you memorized your Social Security Number?
ew. no.
141. Did you vote in the last election?
no, they wouldn't let me.
142. Whats your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
whatever, man.
143. Do you dance?
constantly.
144. Have you ever had the "falling" dream?
all the time! it freaks the hell out of me.
145. Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat?
i don't eat meat.
146. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name be?
max.
147. Did you ever celebrate "Pi Day"?
totally. any excuse to celebrate.
148. What is the time?
10:02
149. What generator do you use for your myspace?
i dont. its white and boring.
150. Who sent("steal") this from?
segal.
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...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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| shuffle it up |
[02 Mar 2006|03:47am] |
Body: Put your music library on shuffle and answer the questions with songs in the order they come up. It doesn't really make sense at times, but some answers you come up with will freak you out.
1. What's my mood like right now?
"The Absence of God" - Rilo Kiley (perpetually my mood.)
2. How's tomorrow going to be for me?
"My Friends" - Red Hot Chili Peppers (yay for a social day. too bad I'M SICK)
3. What kind of person am I?
"Sell Out" - Reel Big Fish (haha, yeah, thats me)
4. Am I loved?
"Alpha Beta Parking Lot" - Cake (makes sense.)
5. How can I achieve my highest potential?
"Rocky Raccoon" - The Beatles (so my highest potential is being a raccoon?)
6. What should I do with my life?
"Young Pilgrims" - The Shins (the idea of religious exploration conflicts with my mood.)
7. Is everything really going to be alright in the end?
"My Dog Was Lost But Now He's Found" - The Fiery Furnaces (metaphor for life much?)
8. What is my best quality?
"Stephanie Says" - The Velvet Underground (better ask stephanie what my best quality is)
9. How does my sex life look?
"The Gymnast High Above the Ground" - The Decemberists (well, i am pretty damn flexible... hehe)
10. What's the meaning of life?
"Love Her Madly" - The Doors (are you calling me a lesbian?)
11. What do people think of me?
"Anything" - Another Man's Trash (its better than them thinking nothing of me)
12. Would I make a good catch?
"The Boy in the Bubble" - Paul Simon (i personally think i can do better than that...)
13. How crazy am I?
"Gotta Get a Problem" - Mates of State (i think i have enough, thnkyouverymuch)
14. Will I have a good life in general?
"Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" - Elton John (can't complain)
15. Can (insert name here) ever really love me?
"Meditation" - Astrud Gilberto
16. Can me and (insert name here) ever be more than friends?
"I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today" - Avenue Q (i'd say thats a good sign when it comes to love)(its also true)
17. What's going to happen to me this week?
"The Charging Sky" - Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins
18. Where will I be a year from now?
"Dead" - Another Man's Trash (OY VEH!)
19. What is my biggest wish?
"Within You Without You" - The Beatles (thats kind of naughty)
20. What is the love of my life doing at this very moment?
"Under the Bridge" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
21. How will I die?
"Three Hopeful Thoughts" - Rilo Kiley (i'm not sure how to interpret that)
22. What will happen after I die?
"Otherside" - Red Hot Chili Peppers (haha seems fitting enough)
23. How do my friends feel about me?
"A Case of You" - Joni Mitchell (i'll take it)
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...AnD LoVe MoRiEl.
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